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Is it possible for your brain to be your arch-nemesis?

Posted by mousewrites on June 29, 2008

sencesmaybenumbered1 I swear my brain is working against me.

I write. I enjoy it. I’ve written a 165,000 word story that was very well received in the circles it traveled in. I’ve written other stories. When people ask me what I am, who I am, my first instinct is to say ‘I’m a writer!’. Yes, sure you are. Just like three-quarters of the world, you’re a writer.

So, you’d think that I’d have been spending this last week off work writing, then, wouldn’t you? Ah, but there’s where you’d be wrong. I’ve done everything I can NOT to write; talked about writing, planned to write, organized my writing area, customized my writing tools, talked about plotting (different than talking about writing, I swear) and now I’m blogging about it. Anything possible to actually avoid writing itself.

Why? Because I’m working on a Big Story.

It’s not some toss off (heh) short story. Its one I’ve been thinking about, working on, for years. I’m finally wrapping my brain around what I’m actually doing in the story… and now I’m scared witless.

While I do tend to write with adult themes, most of the stories I’ve written are light. Not light-hearted, but… shallow. Dealing with only one group of people, or, even more often, one person. Maybe even one person and one event.

Not this one. This story is much larger than any other. Whole nations, even entire empires, have to be accounted for. I have to re-write history, to an extent. Without Steve, I wouldn’t have even been able to plan it this far out. He’s my sounding board, inspirational fount, and angst sponge. I’m using my friend Cole to tackle the more sticky science stuff. He’s smarter than I am by a bunch. I’m sure that I’ll be bouncing this off of all of my friends sooner or later, and they’ll sigh and shake their heads while getting out their collective red pen and marking up what I’ve written. And I’ll sigh, and be resentful (and relieved) when they make me slice off unneeded parts of the story and go back and write things I dodged. I’ll hate them and love them and my fingers will bleed.

But before any of that can happen, I have to start writing. And I can’t seem to. I have all these stupid questions, doubts, clogging up my mind. In two days my ten day break will be up, and I’ve not written one god damn word on this thing.

I’m frustrated. A lot. 😦

Who knew a hard science realistic Steampunk erotica novel could be so darn hard?


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Where’s the Money, Lebowski?

Posted by mousewrites on June 9, 2008

Quote from the ageless movie, The Big Lebowski. I adore this movie. I named my computer The Dude after this movie.eee

But you’re not here for the money, you’re here for the video of me getting my hair chopped off, or perhaps the disastrous ‘after’ picture. I don’t have them for you, not yet. Now, let’s all just be chill. You’ll get your movie. I just need some more time, man, that’s all.

To tide you bloodsuckers over, here’s a piece I wrote about 4 years ago about losing my car. This is also in honor of my purchase of a EEE PC 4G to write on. I don’t write enough anymore. I used a bit of my Stimulus check to get an older model. I don’t really need the extra bells and whistles the 900 series has, so I went with the little one. Isn’t it cute?




Of Ships by Mousewrites

The first time she saw the car it was parked in front of a very nice house. So nice, in fact, that the girl thought there must be some kind of underhanded deal going on; why would somebody in that big a house be selling a 1985 Honda Accord, let alone for 1,400 bucks?

But it wasn’t sinister at all; the car was their daughter’s. She had bought it while in collage, and now that she was back, mommy and daddy got her a nice silver Lexus, and she didn’t need the little bronze Honda anymore. The price was low just so she could get rid of it.

The girl had only had her license for about a year, and had driven all of twenty minutes in her friends’ cars in that time. She was 24, old enough that her father thought she would never learn to drive. Her younger brother and sister had their licenses before she did, though her sister only beat her by a handful of days.

Of course, her sister was 8 years younger, but never mind.

The girl didn’t know how to buy a car. She had almost 2,000$ saved up, scrimping and pinching money for a few months, and some money from her boyfriend, and she bought the car on the spot.

Later she learned it had a cracked axle and a hole in the exhaust pipe, but the axle was actually cheap to fix, and it still passed smog, so she didn’t mind.

Right before she bought the car, the girl had seen “Pirates of the Caribbean” with Johnny Depp. She saw it 8 times. Her favorite line was this:

“It’s not a keel and a deck and sails; that’s what a ship needs. What a ship is…is freedom.”

She got a license plate frame for the car that said “The Bronze Pearl.”


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Posted in GeekLife, Technology, Uncategorized, Writing | 1 Comment »