Geekery Abounds

All Mouse’s Geekery in one place.

Is it possible for your brain to be your arch-nemesis?

Posted by mousewrites on June 29, 2008

sencesmaybenumbered1 I swear my brain is working against me.

I write. I enjoy it. I’ve written a 165,000 word story that was very well received in the circles it traveled in. I’ve written other stories. When people ask me what I am, who I am, my first instinct is to say ‘I’m a writer!’. Yes, sure you are. Just like three-quarters of the world, you’re a writer.

So, you’d think that I’d have been spending this last week off work writing, then, wouldn’t you? Ah, but there’s where you’d be wrong. I’ve done everything I can NOT to write; talked about writing, planned to write, organized my writing area, customized my writing tools, talked about plotting (different than talking about writing, I swear) and now I’m blogging about it. Anything possible to actually avoid writing itself.

Why? Because I’m working on a Big Story.

It’s not some toss off (heh) short story. Its one I’ve been thinking about, working on, for years. I’m finally wrapping my brain around what I’m actually doing in the story… and now I’m scared witless.

While I do tend to write with adult themes, most of the stories I’ve written are light. Not light-hearted, but… shallow. Dealing with only one group of people, or, even more often, one person. Maybe even one person and one event.

Not this one. This story is much larger than any other. Whole nations, even entire empires, have to be accounted for. I have to re-write history, to an extent. Without Steve, I wouldn’t have even been able to plan it this far out. He’s my sounding board, inspirational fount, and angst sponge. I’m using my friend Cole to tackle the more sticky science stuff. He’s smarter than I am by a bunch. I’m sure that I’ll be bouncing this off of all of my friends sooner or later, and they’ll sigh and shake their heads while getting out their collective red pen and marking up what I’ve written. And I’ll sigh, and be resentful (and relieved) when they make me slice off unneeded parts of the story and go back and write things I dodged. I’ll hate them and love them and my fingers will bleed.

But before any of that can happen, I have to start writing. And I can’t seem to. I have all these stupid questions, doubts, clogging up my mind. In two days my ten day break will be up, and I’ve not written one god damn word on this thing.

I’m frustrated. A lot. 😦

Who knew a hard science realistic Steampunk erotica novel could be so darn hard?

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One Response to “Is it possible for your brain to be your arch-nemesis?”

  1. Georgie Chaos said

    Unsolicited advice ahoy!

    Absolutely everyone gets this. The ones who want to do the very best possible particularly. I wish I could find you one of the stories I’ve heard about famous, wonderful performers siezing up and becomming convinced that they couldn’t possibly do a show at all right before having to go on, but it happens. And then they screw down their determination and start, and (with the occasional hiccup) the work does. I’m sure you’ve heard what Douglas Adams was like with deadlines, I’m quite sure some of that was down to this kind of freezing up. The thing is, you’re already making stories. Those wonderful outfits and props you and your friends make-I’m just cconjecturing in print here, but it seems to me that you know what to make because what you’re making is artefacts from a Steampunk world that already exists, somewhere in your head, and when anybody sees them they imply all sorts of adventures, and the very world they seem to come from, by the very character of them.
    As for doing things in words, every conversation you have ever had has been a new work in the English language (assuming you’re monolingual. If not, even better. I would not be in the least surprised.), so it’s not as if you can’t produce raw material at a moment’s notice. If saying your story aloud to a tape recorder, possibly with one of the people you have been discussing your story with to prompt you, will help then by all means give it a go. Do you have any sequences (even a phrase you want in your book) already planned? If so (and I’m sure it is so) then you’ve got a jumping off point too. Any text you can get down is something to work with, Captain, and if there’s a plot doubt getting in your way you can always rewrite the sequence later.
    So long as you’ve got something to make letters with the only things that can get in your way are the things you let get in your way, and you don’t sound like you really want to wait any longer.

    Of course, having written that little rant, I’m half expecting to hear back that you began writing days ago and are going greatguns already.

    Yours with admiration,
    Georgie

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